


To Face Unafraid (The Plans That We Made)

by SheWhoWalksUnseen



Category: Black Lightning (TV)
Genre: (In past episodes and nightmares), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But only a little, F/F, Identity Reveal, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Season/Series 02 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-15 14:50:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16935297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheWhoWalksUnseen/pseuds/SheWhoWalksUnseen
Summary: Grace, Grace, Grace. Her thoughts always came back to Grace these days.(Or, how they really get together.)





	To Face Unafraid (The Plans That We Made)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Onthecyberseas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onthecyberseas/gifts).



> I've been _dying_ to write some Thundergrace so when I was prompted with the wishes of "Friends/family trying to set the couple up/giving relationship advice" and "pretty much any au", I knew I wanted to make something canon divergent. So, I hope this fulfills all your needs, as well as mine for these two to sit down and have an _actual conversation_ about their issues.
> 
> Enjoy, and Merry Christmas!
> 
> (Title from the song Winter Wonderland)

Jennifer took nearly three rings to pick up the phone, all while Anissa paced the kitchen floor, barely holding herself back from wringing her hands. Which was ridiculous. Because Anissa didn’t _get_ nervous - wasn’t nervous _now_ while she waited for her sister to _pick up the damn phone and_ -

“’Nissa? What’s up?” She could practically see Jen raising her eyebrows, hear the slight sleepy slur of her words. Right. Maybe calling her at three in the morning hadn’t been the smartest plan. “Where’s the fire?”

“I, uh,” Anissa swiped a hand over her face, grimacing at the sheen of sweat she inadvertently spread down her cheeks. She didn’t get nightmares often anymore, not since she’d taken to seeking out Grace every week, since they’d begun this pull and tug arrangement.

Tonight had been different.

Maybe it was the gentle way they’d fucked, Grace flipping her onto her back for the first time and pressing into her _hard_ , lips grazing her neck as Anissa hooked her knees around her waist, careful not to squeeze too tight. Maybe it was the aftermath, how they’d fallen into each other with soft laughter enveloping their tangled bodies, Grace rolling her eyes as Anissa brushed messy hair out of her eyes and nosed her forehead.

Of course it had taken a good night to bring back the nightmare, blood on her hands as she struggled to save her family, struggled to pull them from metas faster than her, more _ruthless_ as they bared their teeth in parody of a smile. Anissa screamed, always bulletproof and never injured as she watched her parents, her sister, _Grace_ fall with bloodied lips.

Thankfully, Grace hadn’t woken to find her sweating and panting, staggering out of bed to the kitchen for a drink of water.

Grace, Grace, Grace. Her thoughts always came back to Grace these days.

“Anissa?” Jen sounded more concerned now, more awake. Sheets rustled in the phone speaker and she forced herself to shove aside those memories. “You good?”

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine.” Little lies, little lies. “Uh, I just… I needed to ask you something.”

“Is this about your black sweater, because I swear I brought it back, though I dunno why you’d be calling - ”

“No, I - what? This isn’t about the sweater, Jen.”

“Oh. Good. Then what’s up? You do realize what time it is, right?”

“Yeah, I know, I know.”

“Because now I’m not gonna fall asleep and I’m gonna fail that bio test tomorrow.”

Anissa snorted. “You’re homeschooled!”

“Hey, have you ever tried to take a timed test on a computer? Those things are merciless.”

“ _Anyway_ ,” it was Jennifer’s turn to snort, and the sound almost made Anissa smile, “I didn’t call you to talk about homework or tests.”

“Figured if you’re calling me from your girlfriend’s apartment.”

Blunt as ever. That was one of the things Anissa loved about her sister - she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind.

She swallowed hard. It took her a moment to regain iron-clad control over her nerves, long enough for her voice to steady as she spoke. “That’s…. Well, that’s kind of the thing. I’m not sure I could call Grace and I girlfriends.”

Another rustle through the phone. “What do you mean?”

Anissa chanced a glance toward the bedroom, thankful that Grace was such a deep sleeper. She rarely woke during Anissa’s nightmares, rarely woke for _anything_. Anissa could have punched a hole through her wall above the bed and Grace likely would’ve slept through it. “I just - well, we’ve been seeing each other for a bit now. You know. And it’s just been sex - ”

“ _TMI_.”

“But we haven’t done much aside from that.” Anissa paused. “I mean, we watched a couple of movies. Only a couple of times, though.”

Jennifer hummed in acknowledgment. “So, what’s the problem? You’re hanging out, you both like each other, if you haven’t put a label on it I’m sure it’ll happen sooner or later.”

“We’re not dating, though,” Anissa protested. “Not… Not right now, at least. I think. She wanted to take things slow, so we’re trying, but with Thunder and the mess with these Green Light babies, there’s been no time to do anything about any actual, you know - ”

“Dating?”

“...Yeah, pretty much.”

“Well, there’s an _easy_ solution. You just have to ask her out. Take her to the movies, go on a date.”

Anissa grimaced. “It’s more complicated than that.”

“What’s so complicated about it? You’re both clearly gone over each other - ”

“She doesn’t know - I can’t _hurt her_ again, Jen!” Anissa snapped before she could restrain herself, the words harsher than she intended. “I promised her I wouldn’t. I can’t…” That lump finds its way back into her throat again and Anissa took the phone away from her ear for a second so her sister wouldn’t hear her suck in a deep breath. Steeling herself for battle, for the bullets and numbness, perks that came with invincibility. Same old same old routine.

Jennifer was quiet when she spoke, almost hesitant. “Maybe you should tell her, then.”

Anissa shut her eyes. “Tell her.”

“You know. That you’re Thunder. That you want to go out with her even though you’re trying to distract yourself from everything else in your life.”

“Jen.”

“I’m serious, okay?” Somehow their roles had switched, Jennifer attempting comfort, hoping to reassure her everything would be alright while Anissa panicked because Grace was the one aspect of her life she couldn’t predict. “If she’s half as smart as you say, she’ll be fine. Just tell her the truth. And do it before Christmas, because hey, I wanna meet this girl sometime before you get older than you already are, granny.”

“Who’re you calling _granny_ , little girl?” Anissa shot back, her voice lacking any heat as her sister laughed into the phone. “See if I get you a present this year.”

“Uh huh. And who’s the one putting up with your sappy ass?”

Anissa’s mouth twitched. “Shut up.”

“I mean it, though. Ask her out and bring her for Christmas dinner next week. I miss you around the house.”

A twinge of guilt struck a chord in her gut. She hadn’t been over to the house since moving out, not enough to see Jennifer and her parents, hardly enough time to check in on how her sister had been doing since therapy began, since she was officially homeschooled.

Or, as Jennifer put it, “imprisoned in her tower”. Which was a little dramatic. But fitting, given how overprotective their parents had become over the last few weeks.

Anissa made a mental note to visit before Christmas Eve, spend some time catching up.

“Miss you too. Jen?”

“Yeah?”

She allowed a slight smile and sighed. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah, go to bed with your boo and get yourself a girlfriend. Some of us actually sleep around here,” Jennifer teased.

“Unbelievable.”

“Well, don’t fuck it up, Harriet. And tell me how it goes!” Before she could protest, the call had ended and Anissa was left shaking her head at her phone screen.

Jennifer was lucky Anissa already bought her those new shoes. Though she supposed she deserved it for waking her sister up at three in the morning over girl troubles.

Somehow, this was the most normal thing left in her life.

Anissa put her glass of water in the sink, turned around and froze in the face of Grace Choi’s amused expression from the doorway of her bedroom.

With the straps of her tank top askew, her tattoos rippling as she crossed her arms over her chest, she still looked half-asleep, as if she’d just woken up. Anissa’s mouth went dry for more reasons than one.

“Thought you were skipping out on me.” The words were casual, but Anissa couldn’t help the way her spine stiffened at the very thought. Did Grace think she’d still do that? That they were only here to fuck and nothing more?

“Ah, no. Just had to...get a drink.” She gestured toward the sink weakly.

“In the middle of the night. With your phone.” Grace looked pointedly at Anissa’s hands where she still clutched her cell phone tight.

“Right.”

Grace rolled her eyes, but the amusement didn’t fade, sparking an ember of hope deep in her chest. “I just wanted to see if you were okay. I’ll be in bed if you need me.”

Anissa’s tongue stuck to her teeth as she watched Grace walk away, disappearing into the bedroom. She could feel Grace slipping through her grasp like sand again, the same near-panic in the same bedroom not long ago when words failed her and Grace sent her that bitter, disappointed look and a swift _That’s what I thought_.

She hadn’t lost Grace yet, she reminded herself. They didn’t have anything to lose. Not yet.

Damn it. Maybe Jennifer had a point.

This had to be a sign. Some sort of neon light spectacle she couldn’t see flashing before her eyes and screeching - in a voice not unlike her sister’s - to get her act together.

Anissa could smash through walls, deflect bullets, and kick ass all in a day’s work as a vigilante. She’d saved countless lives, shielded citizens from bombs and bullets and everything in between.

And yet she couldn’t tell the person who made her feel safe and normal unlike anything she’d ever wanted before how she felt.

Anissa walked into the bedroom, dropping her phone on the chair where she’d tossed her bag hours ago in their rush to reach each other, kiss the other senseless. Grace, lying under the twisted sheets with her arm thrown over her face, didn’t even flinch as she crawled in bed beside her. Anissa didn’t bother reaching for the light; she didn’t trust herself not to blurt it out with the darkness surrounding them both, hiding from Grace’s eyes like a coward.

Grace didn’t deserve that. She deserved better than a confession she couldn’t see, something impulsive she couldn’t comprehend in time before Anissa rolled over to sleep.

“You good?” Grace asked, half-muffled even after she pulled her arm away, a frown tugging at her tired features. Even with her eyeliner smeared around her eyes, blending seamlessly with the bags underneath to make her look like a raccoon, which was both endearing and comical, there was no mistaking the sharp gleam in her eyes as she scanned Anissa’s face.

Anissa leaned back against the headboard. She found it too difficult to meet the intensity of Grace’s gaze, and focused on a crack high near the ceiling on the bedroom wall. How ironic that it webbed out like lightning, mimicking the impact of her stomps on pavement as if to mock her.

It’s not that she’s not ready.

No, there’ll never be a good time, never be a calm period long enough for Anissa to decide to break out the big guns and say _fuck it all_. Ever since she got her powers, there’s never been a dull moment. No rest since she chose this life, chose protection of Freeland over time to herself.

Before her powers, there was school and work and half-hearted attempts at relationships that typically turned sour before she mustered the guts to end things.

Now, there should’ve been nothing standing in her way. Nothing stopping her from being honest - Grace deserved honesty - and jumping on a chance at a happier life.

“You’re starting to scare me.” She saw Grace’s frown deepen out of the corner of her eye, watched Grace push up onto her elbows. “You gonna turn out the light? Or...is something wrong?”

Anissa shook her head. Of course, now her tongue chose to lay unresponsive in her mouth again. She glanced at Grace, the budding concern in her eyes igniting something heated in her chest. “I, uh… I have to tell you something.”

Grace started to open her mouth and then seemed to think better of it, shutting it with a measured look. “Okay.”

Well.

No turning back now.

Anissa hesitated before facing Grace, balling her fists in her lap. If she was going to do this, she wanted to do it right.

“I know we’ve been doing this for a while now, and we talked about going slow. Just...taking it one day at a time and seeing where this went.” Grace nodded, if a bit uncertainly, and Anissa took it as a sign to continue. “And I’m cool with that. I am. But if - if we’re going to be taking this further, or anywhere in the future, then I have to be honest about some things.”

“Anissa, I don’t think,” Grace began, but the vigilante held up a hand to cut her off.

“No, wait. If we’re going to do this, you deserve to know the truth. I want - Grace, I want more. I want _you_ in all of your jokes and comic book references and bedhead and the best eggs I’ve ever had - ”

“Anissa.”

“ - and I can’t be with someone who doesn’t know the full me. The _real_ me. No matter how painful it may be. For… For the both of us.”

“ _Anissa_ ,” Grace chided, grabbing her hand as she made to stop her from protesting once more. Anissa couldn’t bring herself to tug away from her hand, warmth flooding through her palm as Grace traced her knuckles with surprising gentleness. “I don’t think you’re listening to me.”

“I was just - ”

Grace shushed her, a smile crossing her face, slow and exasperated. “If you’re trying to tell me you’re secretly moonlighting as a superhero, it’s a little too late for that.”

Her heart clenched and fluttered in its iron cage. Anissa dropped her hand, allowing Grace’s to fall into the sheets alongside with hers. “Wait, _what_?”

Grace laughed. Perhaps she didn’t mean to - the sound seemed to come unbidden from her lips, soft as her shoulders trembled. Anissa couldn’t do more than stare, her mind blank despite the whirring cogs and gears in her skull and her best efforts to do more than _stare_ at Grace Choi while she snickered over Anissa’s stunned expression.

“I mean, I kind of guessed a while ago. At the bar? When you took out those assholes and brought ice for my head?” Grace tilted her head. The way she ran her eyes down Anissa almost felt sensual, not unlike the prelude to sex earlier in the night, if not for the glimmer of fondness behind those brown eyes. “I thought it was the concussion at first, but then you started on about morals and it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. I think I can count on both hands how many times you brought up superpowers alone, Anissa.”

“I - ” Anissa rubbed her eyes. “Well, having enhanced strength doesn’t make me a superhero,” she said feebly.

Grace’s eyebrows shot up her forehead. “You also look a _hell_ of a lot like that vigilante Thunder with your hair braided. Unless you want to tell me that’s another coincidence.”

Fuck.

Anissa couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her, feeling so utterly drained of all the adrenaline and resolve she’d born minutes ago. “Of course.”

“Sorry if I ruined your whole moment there.”

Anissa waved her off, slumping back so her back rested more on the pillows than the headboard. “It’s… I mean, it’s fine. I think I’m more relieved that you already know. It’s not like I’ve done this before.”

“Done what?”

“Telling people my identity. My alter ego, that is. You’re the first person to know. Outside of my family.” She bit her lower lip and studied Grace’s face, meeting her eyes. Something in her gaze wavered but Grace didn’t avert her eyes, staring back with familiar determination. It was like the first time in that bookstore ages ago, reaching out to grasp Grace’s hand from the floor with a grin and admiring her tenacity, her unadulterated passion for heroes and make-believe. Back when things were simple and Anissa was still trying to figure out herself and what she wanted to do with these powers, this _gift_ she’d been given.

Before she’d lost track of everything and the one person she truly felt she’d connected to outside of her family when chaos struck. And they were hunted down. And Dad almost _died_ and -

Yeah. It’d be a little difficult to keep track of everything lately.

“I’ve never had someone I trusted myself with before,” Anissa admitted. All teasing and bravado melted, and she tried not to feel claustrophobic sitting in the tangled sheets of Grace’s bed, bared in one of Grace’s old shirts and her lacy underwear to the woman remaining quiet at her side. “I meant it when I said that. I - I’m glad you know. You have no idea how stressful I thought that was gonna be.”

Grace looked like she might smile again, but her eyes held to their sobriety. “I think I have some idea.”

Anissa swatted her shoulder lightly, eliciting a low laugh from Grace. “Yeah, I bet. Watching me squirm was so entertaining, huh?”

“Not really,” Grace said. “It took me a long time before I came to terms with my feelings and why I even wanted to wait in the first place. Back before Zoe’s party.”

That sinking boulder of guilt was back. “I’m so sorry. I know I have no excuse for - ”

“Superhero business, right?” There was no judgment, no bitterness in her tone. Anissa waited for the switch to flip, for Grace’s face to darken as she sneered at her to get out, but none came. Instead, she was rewarded with a thin smile. “I figured. Doesn’t mean it’s alright, but…. I thought more about it, lately, that is, and I don’t think I have a right to judge you. Not like I know what it’s like to put your life on the line like that. Again, doesn’t make it okay.”

Grace leaned forward, closing the distance between them. Anissa wondered if she was going in for a kiss, only for the briefest instant, but Grace stopped inches away, face to face with her. The amusement was gone, leaving a sternness in its wake.

“I wanted to go slow because I wanted to know if you were serious. You said you wanted more, you wanted _me_ ,” and here Grace’s voice cracked, nearly imperceptible to Anissa’s ears, “and while I get the whole vigilantism job, I want you to know that blowing me off? Ignoring my calls and texts, even if you’re hurt or in trouble? That’s not how I want to do things.”

“I’m dealing with some bad people, Grace,” Anissa murmured. “Some of whom I haven’t even met in person yet and they’ve already… They’ve already hurt this town, my family, _me_.”

“Then you’re going to need support, right? Someone you can count on if things go wrong. Someone you need to trust and support _just as much_ if you’re serious about her. Because I meant it when I said I’m not a tool for you to use whenever you’re feeling down or needy.”

“You’re not a tool,” Anissa insisted. She gave Grace’s hand a squeeze and reached out to tilt Grace’s chin up when she tried to look away. “Hey. You’re not. You’re smart and brave and fine as hell, and if I ever think of you as anything less, I’ll walk out that door and never come back.”

“Then prove it.” Grace’s eyes blazed with fire Anissa could almost _feel_ searing her bulletproof skin. “Prove I’m not just here for your convenience.”

Anissa took a deep breath. Always preparing herself, for the bullets, chaos ready to fly off the handle. “Well, would the fact I was planning on following up my little confession by asking you out help?”

Her frown faltered. “I think fucking counts as being well past that.”

Anissa shook her head and grasped Grace’s other hand in her own, loose enough that the other could yank herself free if she really wanted. “I meant to the movies. Or dinner somewhere. Not that your apartment isn’t _nice_ , but it seems like I’ve been making you do all the work, and I’m still moving into my new place. Besides,” she eyed Grace for permission, any sign of a flinch or distaste, before pressing her lips to Grace’s knuckles, light as a feather, “you deserve a lot better than I’ve been giving you. If you’ll let me.”

 _I want to give you everything._ _You’re the one person in my life who feels_ right _._

Grace considered her, still uncertain, but Anissa forced herself to hold her gaze, standing her ground. She hoped she wasn’t coming off too forceful, that Grace really did want this.

If not…

Well, she was no stranger to failed relationships. Anissa didn’t have a great track record with keeping girlfriends, not with her many jobs and now superhero antics.

And she had meant it. Grace deserved better than a quick fuck whenever _Anissa_ needed the comfort.

The hands in hers shifted and Anissa started to loosen her hold, her heart sinking, but a glance down and a tight squeeze proved wrong as Grace laced their fingers together properly. The familiar challenge in her eyes, albeit a softer gleam than she’d ever seen, met Anissa’s, unflinching.

“If we’re going to do this,” Grace whispered, “there’ll be no more secrets. Okay?” She swallowed hard, as if steeling herself. “From either of us.”

Anissa nodded. “I promise. I want to do this right.”

Something close to relief flickered across Grace’s face and she gave her hands another squeeze, causing Anissa to smile. A touch of pink flared in Grace’s cheeks and she shook her head.

“This reminds me,” Anissa said slowly, “if we’re talking about honesty. I’ve got a… A big secret I need to tell you.”

Grace started to frown again. “What is it?”

“Well… Jen _may_ have invited you to Christmas dinner. If you’re up for that.”

Grace snorted and Anissa couldn’t help but laugh at the sound, even when Grace shoved at her, the color from her cheeks spreading to her ears. And _damn_ , if she didn’t looked good in pink. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Jennifer’s in the back of her head muttered something about saps.

To hell with it. She leaned into Grace’s bare shoulder and when she didn’t pull away, Anissa rubbed her thumbs over Grace’s knuckles, a second, silent promise.

“I guess that messes with my plans for a night in laughing at Hallmark Christmas movies,” Grace bemoaned.

“I dunno. That sounds pretty great too.”

“I haven’t had dinner with family in a long time.” The words came out low and Anissa glanced at Grace’s face, taking in the wavering look on her face.

Oh. She hadn’t even thought -

“But,” Grace sighed, though she didn’t seem perturbed, “I mean. First time for everything.”

“You sure?”

“If your family wants me to come - if _you_ want me to come,” Grace looked down at their intertwined hands. “If you want to do this, then I’ll go. Might be better to eat a real Christmas meal for the holidays, after all.”

Anissa chuckled and pressed a tentative kiss to the crown of her head. “Babe, all I want for Christmas is _you_.”

Grace groaned. “That - oh my god, that was so cheesy.”

“Hey, I see you blushing!”

“Why are you like this? If you start singing _Baby, It's Cold Outside_ , I swear - ”

“Come on, you know you love it.”

“Your corny jokes? No, definitely not.” Grace pressed a finger to Anissa’s lips when she made to argue. “You, though?” She tilted her head and Anissa felt her own cheeks start to warm. “Maybe.”

“And you call me corny,” Anissa murmured. She couldn’t bring herself to speak louder, her grin widening.

“It’s called being _smooth_.”

“Uh huh. To each their own.”

Grace laughed again, this time moving to drop her finger and replace it, gently, with her lips, sending an involuntary thrill down Anissa’s spine as she responded by cradling Grace’s face in her hands. She could feel Grace smiling against her mouth, no matter how hard she tried to fight it, and Anissa didn’t bother hiding her own.

She definitely owed Jennifer an extra Christmas present this year.

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream with me on my DCTV Tumblr @areyouscarletcold. Comments are always appreciated, and have a great day!


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